Are you breathing?在呼吸嗎？

For almost eight years, I’ve been living in the States, but not until this spring did I develop symptoms of allergies. It was a running nose in March and last week a clogged nose joined. I have problems breathing freely and my mouth hates to multi-task.

The whole situation becomes more absurd when I go climbing, “Are you breathing?” says the climbing instructor, and when I try to cross an eddy line in my kayak, “Don’t hold your breath!” say my experienced boating friends. I so much want to perform unobstructed inhales and exhales, yet I still hold my breath when I undergo abrupt movements or when I experience tough transitions.

Isn’t breathing the most natural thing? Not necessarily. Chinese Kung-fu masters ask their pupils to learn how to breathe before they learn any strokes, and the same thing happens in Yoga philosophy. In many aerobic sports – running, swimming, etc – people ask how they should breathe all the time, because breathing helps to develop rhythm and rhythm brings out endurance.

However, I had never imagined that one day I would have to constantly remind myself to breathe. It is almost as difficult as telling myself to relax when I just jump in a new sport. Both climbing and kayaking require balance, smoothness and elegance. I have heard so many climbers and kayakers use “grace” to refer to their beloved sports, and I will not hesitate to use that word if I know I can breathe better than naturally.

I always believe that a sport looks beautiful if you do it right. While my symptoms trigger my desire to breathe, I’ll just have to step further to keep working on that. I’ll keep monitoring myself as long as it needs to: If I hold my breath, I interrupt the continuity of a sport and disturb its momentum. And the end result? The beauty of the sport will be suffocated.


我來美國大概也快八年了，本來以為對花粉熱現象免疫了，卻在今年開春開始有過敏症候。先是不停地流鼻水，一兩個禮拜前，居然開始鼻塞了。沒辦法用鼻子自由自在地呼吸，嘴巴對於多工也開始厭煩。

當我出外運動的時候，情形變得更加荒謬：室內攀岩場的教練三不五時地，對我「低空」喊話：「妳有沒有在呼吸啊？」泛舟友人，常常好意地提醒我，「別憋氣，記得要呼吸喔！」我是多麼地渴望可以自由自在地吸氣以及吐氣，偏偏運動的時候，遇到需要一鼓作氣的攀爬地形，或是穿過緊張的激流的時候，我還是不由自主地「暫時停止呼吸」。

呼吸不是應該是再自然也不過的事情嗎？這可不一定。要不然郭靖為什麼要等馬道長教他吐納之後，武功才有進境。練瑜珈不是也從正確地呼吸開始入手？更別說許多從事有氧運動的人—像是跑步、游泳—老是在詢問「應該要怎樣呼吸才是對呢？」自然的呼吸，引領出運動的節奏感，而節奏感幫助訓練運動的持久度。

說歸說，我還是萬萬沒有想過，有這麼一天我必須時時勤提醒自己「記得要呼吸喔！」這和告訴自己在初學一項運動的時候，要記得放輕鬆，是一樣的弔詭，一樣的困難。爬岩和泛舟（kayaking），兩者都要求平衡感，流暢性，以及美感。很多攀岩者和泛舟者，喜歡用「優雅（grace）」來形容他們心愛的運動。如果我可以自然地呼吸，恐怕也會毫不遲疑地加入優雅一族。

我深信如果做對的話，每一項運動看起來都是美不勝收的。目前，我的過敏症候激發出，潛藏於體內、渴望自由呼吸的本能呼喊，為了訓練，就得更進一步，觀察自己的呼吸規律。如果我暫時停止呼吸，同時中斷的是運動的流暢和整體性。結果呢？運動會呈現出來的美，可能就生生地窒息了。